#30 - Simone & Yani's Lived Experience

In our first parent/young person duet episode, Simone and her teenager Yani share their journey through years of school struggles, home education, and eventually finding a path forward that works. Together, they talk openly about the challenges of separation anxiety, dyslexia, School Can’t, and the toll it takes on both parent and child.

What shines through is their honesty, resilience, and the strength of their relationship as they navigate tough choices and moments of relief - from difficult mornings at the school gate to the freedom of “Beach Day.” Yani reflects on what it’s like to be a young person who simply couldn’t do school in the usual way, while Simone offers the perspective of a parent trying to balance care, work, and self-doubt.

This conversation will resonate with parents facing similar challenges, and offer valuable insight for educators and professionals seeking to better understand and support families living with School Can’t

00:00 Introduction to the School Can't Experience Podcast

00:27 Meet Yani and Simone

02:08 Early School Experiences: Daycare and Kinder

06:05 Struggles with Mainstream Primary School

24:04 Transition to High School and Lockdown Challenges

27:06 Embracing Home Education

34:13 Finding a New Path: TAFE and Future Plans

39:57 Reflections and Closing Thoughts

Recommended Resources

Transcript

Leisa Reichelt: 0:05

Hello and welcome to the School Can't Experience Podcast. I'm Leisa Reichelt. And this podcast is brought to you by the School Can't Australia community. Caring for a young person who is struggling to attend school can be a stressful and isolating experience, but you are not alone. Thousands of parents across Australia and many more around the world face similar challenges and experiences every day. It is a very special episode today as we have our first ever parent and young person duet. Joining us today is Yani and their mum, Simone, and they're going to be sharing their reflections on a long journey of School Can't, what the experiences felt like from each of their perspectives and where the journey has brought them to today. If you're a parent with experience of School Can't, this could be a difficult listen at times as Yani shares very honestly their perspective of the experience. Please do be compassionate with yourself. And remember, we've all done the very best we could with what we knew at the time. I hope you enjoy listening to Yani and Simone's story. Alright, Simone and Yani, welcome to our podcast. So exciting to have the two of you together sharing your story with us today.

Simone: 1:18

Thank you. It's good to be here isn't it Yani?.

Leisa Reichelt: 1:24

Alright, let's just get started by getting a little bit of a context for you and who you are and anything you wanna tell us about selves.

Yani: 1:33

Well we live in Victoria. We have a cat. I have two brothers who don't live with us'cause they grew up already. We lived in Port Ferry with Nan, but we had to leave because the rent was too expensive. So we moved and that was good.

Simone: 1:57

I work a tiny little bit and Yani goes to TAFE And we've been on quite a journey with school since the beginning of time.

Leisa Reichelt: 2:08

Let's start at the very beginning. and I wonder, Yani, where was the very beginning for you with school problems? School challenges?

Yani: 2:17

I would almost say before school. Because I went to daycare and I always hated that. And then I went to kinder and I hated that. Then I went up through all the other grades and I hated those too.

Leisa Reichelt: 2:30

When you say you hated daycare, What do you remember hating about it?

Yani: 2:34

Well, mostly I didn't like being separated from my mum, but that's a pretty normal thing for a kid that age. But for me it was more extreme. And I think it's just not like a natural thing for a kid who's so little to be separated from their primary caregiver that early on. Sort of like separating a kitten from its mum too early.

Simone: 3:04

And I think for Yani, Yani has always had strong emotions. Even when they were born, their cry was really intense and they really wanted me. I remember the first time their brother held them, they cried and then he gave Yani back to me and they just stopped. They really wanted their mum. But I would say, if I think about Yani's experience of childcare, Yani didn't go until they were three. And when they first went, it was in a really nice, cozy, little childcare centre. They didn't actually mind going there. It was sort of like home. And then that childcare company got bigger and they built a big fancy building, which was more like a kinder, where all the kids were separated into different rooms. It was shiny, bright, and very state of the arts of childcare centre, I suppose. But I think that changed things. When I think of dropping Yani at kinder, it was actually quite a disconnected experience. There's no one there who's specifically there to welcome you into that space. You're meant to just arrive and find yourself something to do until somebody tells you to do something. And again, like from a sensory perspective, quite loud, very bright, socially, lots of different things going on. When I walk in with Yani, I'd be doing a very quick scan to see who is most likely going to be able to help me and Yani to transition out of being together. And so I would already feel anxious. Yani is probably anxious. One person was really helpful in that space that we could rely on. The rest of them, they weren't really attuned to the fact that it was consistently difficult for us, I don't think. What do you think Yani?

Yani: 5:17

I don't really remember specifics about it. I just remember how I felt about it and some of the people and very vaguely what happened there. I mostly remember the first sort of week that I was there. And then I don't remember a lot else. I know I had a best friend in kinder, we used to play in the sandpit. We had fairy bread on the first day. But I mean, there were times in kinder where Yani was pulled off me and Yani would be crying and I wouldn't cry right then. I would cry on my way to work and it would happen. Feel sad already. it would happen more with me than with Yani's dad.

Leisa Reichelt: 6:05

Were you able to get to school every day, usually then Yani?

Yani: 6:10

I don't think I went full-time. I think I went like two days or three days a week or something like that.

Simone: 6:18

Also, Yani did a trial at the independent school at the same time as their brother did. And, he didn't like it. Yani loved it immediately. And Yani started doing one day of their kinder in that classroom at the independent school. And it was always much easier for them to go there than the other one. I can't actually remember why you didn't do all of your kinder there. I think it was financial reasons.'cause it was a private, like an independent school. It cost a lot of money.

Leisa Reichelt: 6:53

What was better about that independent kinder, Yani? Why was it easier to go there?

Yani: 7:00

Because I knew all of the people and it was small, all the kids knew each other. There was only about six kids in my class. From kinder to year two we had the same teachers all the time. We knew them really well. And I liked it because it was structured in a more fluid way. And it just felt like more secure to be at a school which was smaller. And the people, you sort of grew up with them.

Leisa Reichelt: 7:35

Sounds lovely. Simone, you had gone back to work by this stage.

Simone: 7:41

Yeah, I'd gone back to work a bit. I worked just around the corner, so that was really good. Initially we didn't have any sort of problems there with Yani not wanting to go. But it didn't take too long before that started to happen. And we would have days that they weren't able to go. Often it'd be sort of like anxiety as we were, like I'd know that Yani wasn't feeling great before we left home, but we would sort of manage to get out the door. But then it would often be when we got to like the, the gate or trying to get out of the car, that Yani would feel anxious and there'd, there'd just be times where Yani just couldn't go in. It felt like, pushing them to go in was almost like a, like sometimes it almost felt like violent actually. Like it was

Yani: 8:38

Well cause it is violent.

Simone: 8:39

Yeah.

Yani: 8:40

But it was always violent. When you like, pull a child off their parent and force them to go into a building with people that like, they don't necessarily know that well, they may not feel like they get on with the kids or the teachers don't like them, or whatever reason they don't like it. And to like drag them off from that person where they feel safe and make them go to school. That is pretty violent.

Simone: 9:10

I think it was harder because, Yani's dad and I were separated, there was already a break in our attachment that neither of of really chose that way. and we didn't have complete control over the arrangements. so

Leisa Reichelt: 9:29

this is because you were spending a week with mum and a week with dad, and so there wasn't that kind of consistency.

Yani: 9:37

I was with my dad, I remember I would just go because I just sort of felt like when I was with my dad, I didn't have the same safety that I had with my mum and I didn't have that at school or at daycare or where, wherever I was going either. So if I went from being with him to go to school, there wasn't a difference in like how safe I was or how loved I felt or anything like that. It was the same. But if I was with my mum, there was a huge difference between how safe or how much I knew my mum compared to how I knew this stranger who was looking after me or some teacher or someone like that. I wouldn't have that emotional connection with the teacher that I would have with my mum

Leisa Reichelt: 10:34

So dad's attitude was much more like go to school, no conversation to be entered into

Yani: 10:40

yeah, he's more of a private person.

Simone: 10:46

And then he would say to me. I don't know what your problem is, It must be something to do with you because it never happens with me. And then I would feel like maybe there was something wrong with the way I parented that I was letting Yani get away with too much or that I was a pushover or all those types of things, But actually like within myself, when Yani and I would navigate things, I would know I was on the right track. But, when he spoke to me like that, I sometimes questioned myself.

Yani: 11:23

I knew that my dad thought that about my mum. I don't remember if you told me or he did. Probably both. Either way I knew that that was a thing and that he had feelings like, oh, your mum isn't really doing that right. And I didn't like that at all. I was pretty mad about it because I knew that she was doing it better than he was. I was a kid who knew what best for me. And adults don't always think that about kids. They think kids don't know what they want or what they need. They think kids like, don't know what's best for them, but they do. A lot of the time they do.

Simone: 12:06

I think sometimes parents think that they have to behave in certain ways because of the way other people think about them. Like if their kid doesn't go to school, that there's something wrong with them as a parent you know, because that's what you're meant to do. So, to sort of start moving away from that feels a bit edgy. Yeah,

Leisa Reichelt: 12:30

So Yani went back to the mainstream primary school for various reasons, and that was not great.

Yani: 12:41

No, So for grade three, when I was about eight, I had to leave the independent school and I went to a public school. There was a lot of differences. After you've been in an independent school from kinder to year two, it's quite a shock go to a public school after that.

Leisa Reichelt: 13:02

What were the differences?

Yani: 13:05

The main thing was the amount of people and the way they did things were so different. I remember the first day I went into the classroom and there was like 30 kids in the class running around in all different directions and screaming I was like, whoa, this is a bit strange. I don't know what to think about this. I remember teachers were kind of different. They sort of felt like, they didn't have the same connection with the kids. Obviously they didn't know them as well. Or they hadn't known them as long. In the independent school, all of the kids knew the teachers so well that it was like, you know, we went on school camps together. We like grew up together from like kinder to year two. And that's like a tight knit thing. If you go into public school, all of these kids don't know each other that well. The teachers don't know the kids that well. You do like the circle thing and everybody's like, say one thing about yourself. But in, in the independent school, you wouldn't have never done that because you already knew everything about that kid.

Leisa Reichelt: 14:16

So that connection seems like it's really important to you. And so getting to school was still really challenging through this primary school era.

Yani: 14:25

Mm-hmm. Especially If I was with mum, I would get dropped off at school on a Friday. I would go to school, and then my dad would pick me up later that day. I would have afterschool care because he wouldn't pick me up till five whenever he got off work.

Simone: 14:43

yeah. And that time, you know, I suppose Yani did start not being able to go to school regularly when they were with me. It would be on the day that, they would be going back to their dad. that day would be particularly hard, but there would be other days during the week where it would happen as well. By this stage I was working and my job was pretty intense. We'd often get to the gate and Yani wouldn't be able to get out. And I'd know that I was expected to be at work and sometimes I'd have to call and say, I just can't come, They knew enough to sort of know what the situation was. Yeah, sometimes we just wouldn't be able to go. By that stage I'd worked out that I needed to reduce my hours. I knew that I needed to have a relationship with Yani's school. By this stage, Yani had a diagnosis of dyslexia and I had to articulate Yani's needs to the teachers who didn't completely understand some of those things. Were pretty rigid in the way they did things. I think they thought that I was being difficult a fair bit of the time and,

Yani: 16:08

And not only did they just think that about mum. They thought that about me too. Which I think is ridiculous because you think a kid is being difficult when they literally have a learning disability and just know what they want and know how they want to be taught. And you have only been taught how to teach that kid in a very specific way. And you think that if you don't teach the kid in that way, it's wrong. And if the kid says, you are wrong, the teacher gets upset because they don't like being called out by a 9-year-old. But that's what I did.

Simone: 16:46

You did do it a couple of times because Yani was determined not to be perceived to be less intelligent because of learning, differences, And yeah, the teacher didn't always like it when Yani would be saying, no, don't give me that other work. Like, I want the same work. Like, don't patronize me. I'm not stupid. You know? And, and Yani was little blonde, cute, and,

Leisa Reichelt: 17:14

Pretty fiery by the sounds of it.

Simone: 17:16

Thank goodness for that.

Yani: 17:17

you know, mum used to say that me and my brother's name should have been switched because my name means peaceful and my brother's name means fiery, he's more peaceful and I'm more fiery.

Leisa Reichelt: 17:32

So you enjoyed the learning Yani, even though it wasn't always taught to you in a way that made sense.

Yani: 17:37

I really liked history. As a kid, that was my favorite thing. I remember that I used to get more homework than the other kids and I hated that because I felt different than everybody else and I had to do more work I didn't like being treated differently, but I still liked the work and wanted to do the same work as everybody else, even though it was harder for me to do it than it was for them.

Simone: 18:04

And sometimes I think staying at school was hard because sometimes you would get upset at school. Like kids would see you upset.

Yani: 18:14

There was a day when my mum, it was a Friday, she dropped me off and like I really didn't wanna go. And I like, fought it as hard as I possibly could and she tried as hard as she could to get me to stay there. In the end I did. But like, I think I got there, I got there late, I'd like chased her up the path and told her to stop and not leave me there. And, once I actually got in the classroom, I don't remember how she got me to stay. Maybe you called the principal or something and got me to go in there. And once I actually sat in the classroom, the teacher asked me what my favourite animal was or something, because it was a thing they did for the roll call. They would call out everybody's name and then say like, what's your favorite animal? And I said, giraffe. And then I just started crying And all the kids looked at me and I was just so, I was like, oh my God. Like go away. Like I thought they would have so many opinions about me because I had different stuff going on than they did. And I already felt different to everybody else because of the way that my parents were, the way that I was like always late to school. One week I was early, the other week I was late. It was just that. And then also I was dyslexic. Well, I still am. The teacher would like call me up and make me read the roll call. I couldn't read properly and I just, I just felt like very different to the other kids there, which didn't help with the fact that I didn't wanna be there in the first place.

Simone: 19:58

Which is why I think sometimes it was important that Yani did have days off. It must have been exhausting. You know, if you really look at your kid with your eyes open and you look at things from their perspective rather than your own, and there's a moment where that happens, I think where you, like I knew that they couldn't go to school all the time, so I suppose sometimes I just accepted that that was how that day was gonna be and didn't give myself too much of a hard time about making that decision. We sometimes actually had a good time and, that was important for Yani's, wellbeing and our relationship and my wellbeing as well. It was interesting how often by the early afternoon Yani would be playing schools. So like, it wasn't that they didn't want to be at school or didn't like the idea of school. It was just the way it was delivered. And yeah, one day we have to talk about is the memorable day where we wagged the day together.

Leisa Reichelt: 21:14

This is Beach Day, yeah?

Yani: 21:16

Mm-hmm.

Simone: 21:16

Yeah.

Leisa Reichelt: 21:17

Tell us about Beach Day.

Yani: 21:18

so I got dressed, got in the car, we drove to school, got to the gate, I was like, I'm not going in there, mum, I'm not going. And I don't remember what you did. I only remember the part where you were like, oh, I'm not doing this again. I don't care. Let's just go to the beach. I was like, okay, let's go. And I really like that about my mum. quite spontaneous sometimes, and especially when I was a kid. And we had a lot going on. Sometimes you would just come up with something really fun to do sort of make up for it. And sometimes I couldn't predict what you were gonna do. Like I had no idea.

Simone: 21:59

I don't think it was to make up for it. It was more to let go of, trying to make things different,

Leisa Reichelt: 22:07

What's your version of Beach Day, Simone?

Simone: 22:10

My version of Beach Day, it was, stuff it, we're not doing it like this, this actually really doesn't matter. It actually doesn't matter. And who gives a stuff if we don't do what we are meant to. Um, we're just gonna totally, drop it and do what we need to do. And so I took Yani to the op shop.

Yani: 22:32

I only had school clothes.

Simone: 22:33

I promised that we were going to the beach. I didn't want Yani to be in their school clothes all day. I'm like, come on, let's go to the op shop and we'll buy you some clothes to wear and we're gonna go to the shop and get some really good food and we're just gonna go to the beach. And so that's what we did. And it was sort of fun and liberating and edgy just to sort of like, walk into the op shop and go stuff It you know, take school clothes off and get yourself something, and off we go. And we both remember that day as very special I think.

Yani: 23:07

Yeah. I think my favorite part was seeing my mum as somebody who was fun and not just somebody who made me do things that I really, really, really didn't wanna do. And it was sort of like sometimes she would like take me to the movies on a Friday night or something and I got to see the part of my mum that was the fun part, but I didn't get to see that much because school and work make your parents seem like just this boring person so, yeah, but then she would do something like that and I would be pretty impressed.

Simone: 23:41

I suppose it's also saying, there's other ways we can do this. How else can this be, I think that was important like that's how it was for the rest of your experience of primary school, was that you sort of had days off, like right till the end of grade six. Yeah.

Leisa Reichelt: 24:04

Let's talk about high school then. So the joys of primary school were behind us and we were moving onto high school, fresh new start. How did that work out?

Simone: 24:14

So, we moved from Tasmania to Victoria at the end of Yani's grade six. I thought maybe Yani could repeat grade six. Like that was one option I put to them was maybe you could do grade six again.

Yani: 24:32

And I was just like, oh, I don't wanna do that again. and I was like, no mum. I'd rather go to this giant school where I don't know anybody and I don't know any of the teachers, and it's 40 minutes away on the bus. I'd rather do that.

Simone: 24:49

And the other option was a small, sort of like country school, which I thought could have been nice for Yani because it was on some land, it had trees and, less kids. but the one Yani went to, I think it was mostly that Yani could see values they related to throughout the presentation of the building. that was really it, wasn't it?

Yani: 25:14

I liked it because, well, I saw that it was big and I saw the environment and I was like, I don't care. I think my idea of the future was a bit different back then. I sort of couldn't imagine the future. I just thought, oh, this school is the best school they have better values than the other ones. And, whatever. I don't care if it's big. That's a problem for somebody else. That's, that's for future Yani. I don't care. I wanted to go there, even though mum told me to go to the smaller one, she was like, you should probably choose this one'cause it's smaller and you'll like it more. And I was like, no.

Leisa Reichelt: 25:52

You know your own mind. How did it work out?

Yani: 25:57

I went there for a term. The second term was when lockdown happened. But when I actually started going to year seven at that school, I realized that I actually hated it and that it was different than I had imagined I didn't feel like the students were supported very well. It was kind of just like everybody looks after themself and nobody really cares about anybody else. That's how it feels. I think that's a big school thing because you might make friends, especially in year seven just because you need them. You might not even like them, they're just your friends because you have to have friends because you need somebody to rely on. The teachers are busy with like their 1000 million students that they're just like running around dying of children. Then their jobs are so difficult And the kids, especially the younger ones, don't really know what they're doing. We had to look after each other even though we didn't really want to necessarily.

Leisa Reichelt: 27:06

How about we talk about the transition you guys made from this gigantic school to home education. How did that come about?

Yani: 27:18

Well, COVID happened. So everyone started doing online school and lot of kids were like, ew! What is this? I don't wanna do this. And I was one of those kids.

Simone: 27:33

it wasn't just that you didn't wanna do it though, it was really hard for you.

Yani: 27:37

No, didn't, I didn't wanna do it.

Simone: 27:38

It was really hard for you though.

Yani: 27:39

It was hard because the teachers weren't there to like, tell you what you were actually supposed to be doing. And it was just stupid. I didn't like it. Nobody did. I don't think I've ever met a single person who was like, I love online school. I liked doing my work, but if I didn't have to do it and it was something complicated that I didn't enjoy, I wasn't gonna do it. I would try and do it because I was stubborn. But if I really didn't wanna do it, then I probably wouldn't.

Simone: 28:09

Well, for you to have done it, it would've taken you longer than the actual hours that you had to spend online as well. We would've had to do a whole heap more work. And I don't think either of us were resourced enough to do that. And Yani had already had, being unable to go to school before the lockdowns

Yani: 28:29

obviously. That's the whole point of this podcast.

Simone: 28:31

Yeah. But I mean, before, like in year seven, in that first term, there were, days that you couldn't go to school, and it was a combination of all of that stuff to do with school and then having to travel there.,

Yani: 28:43

Well, yeah, because it was a big school. I had to get up at 6:00 AM, get on the bus for like half an hour, drive around to all these different schools, drop a lot other kids off, go to school for like six hours, go to all these different classes in different places of the school, figure out where I was going, figure out how to unlock my locker, fight all the kids to get there, do all of that, and then deal with social issues. Then get back on the bus at like three, get home at four o'clock, have dinner and go to bed. Do it again. Five days in a row, like, and I was 12.

Leisa Reichelt: 29:22

It sounds almost as boring as being an adult.

Yani: 29:24

I think it's worse. I think it's worse. And

Leisa Reichelt: 29:29

Yeah.

Simone: 29:29

so Yani hadn't been able to go to school sometimes before the lockdown, but then the school tried to offer some extra support to reengage. But it didn't really seem,

Yani: 29:40

Are you talking about when you tried to get me to go back and I was very stuck on the idea of not going back. And we went into that meeting and they were like, Ooh, how about you just go one day a week? And I was like, nup, you can't convince me. And I was just like, I'm not even learning anything. I'm just wasting all my energy on getting there. Dealing with all the people and doing nothing and not even learning anything. And I was just like, this is stupid. And mum was like, should I try and get you to go back or like, what do I do?

Simone: 30:12

from my perspective there just wasn't enough support for Yani to be able to exist at school. And, so basically we just stopped.

Yani: 30:21

But there was the moment where I was just like, no, Again, sort of like the same feeling as the day we wagged school at our beach day. it was like, I don't care anymore. this is not working. we don't have to do it this way. I don't know what we're gonna do, we are not doing that anymore. Like, I'm done with trying to do that and I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm just gonna let go. I did feel like we didn't have a choice actually. Then when we registered for homeschooling, I wrote up a really good and very idealistic learning plan for Yani's homeschooling experience. I was very capable of doing that. But the idea and the ideal of homeschooling and the reality of it are two very different things when there's not really any support to help you.

Simone: 31:23

I really needed practical support and a, and a, um, you know, like mentor and like a paid person who would guide me and support me. But we didn't have that and I was pretty burnt out I was exhausted. And so I sort of had to decide that the way that Yani was gonna have to learn was just from life really.

Yani: 31:49

I didn't have a choice either. And that's what I wanted because I knew there was no other choice. if I had another choice, I probably would've chosen it. But there wasn't another choice I wanted to learn things. I wasn't like, oh, I don't wanna be at school'cause I don't like learning. I loved learning and I still do.

Leisa Reichelt: 32:09

How were those years of homeschooling for you, Yani?

Yani: 32:12

Part of it was good and part of it was horrible. I really liked it especially at the start because it's exactly what I needed at the time. Especially in COVID time, I just needed a break from school. Like completely. I just needed to forget school existed and hang around in the garden and be with mum because there was already so much going on with us, it was good just to let go of everything that was going on and just like, hang out with Nan We were just like a little team we moved house a couple of times. The first house we were in was like the first era of homeschooling, which was mainly like, I don't care anymore. Then we moved house and that was closer to Nan and that was just sort of like a bit more of a relaxed time. I felt pretty relaxed. I sort of wish that I had more to do. I was starting to get like, oh my God, what the hell am I gonna do with my life? I'm just gonna have like, no way of getting a job. No way of like integrating into society and being a proper person or whatever you call it. At least I was like not a stressed out teenager with all of these exams and stuff to deal with, I couldn't have dealt with it at the time. And I'll look back at it and be like, oh my God, look at all this stuff I didn't do. I wish I could have done it. And I don't think it's fair that I didn't get to but I couldn't have done it even if I wanted to. That's just the way that it is.

Simone: 33:53

And, I didn't feel very resourced to support Yani in their learning. I've always trusted that they wanna learn and that they have capacity to find the information that they need and follow their own interests and ideas and things.

Leisa Reichelt: 34:10

Let's fast forward to the present time then, shall we? So we've been through these really difficult school times. We've kind of disengaged from school and spent this time in more of a home education, freeform type, teach yourself kind of situation for a while. Yani, you said you were starting to be concerned about like, what am I gonna do with my life? Where are we now? What's going on?

Yani: 34:35

We had a period of time, early last year maybe, where this woman came from, the reconnect place. Her job was to try and get me to reconnect with education. And at that time I was like, Ew, I'm not doing that. That's disgusting. And she recommended that I could try and go to TAFE and I was like, oh my God, what the hell are you thinking? That's half an hour away And these are adult courses. I wasn't ready for that yet. I felt pretty threatened by the idea of it, because I didn't know anything else really, apart from the experiences that I'd already had and not being in education for quite a while at that point, I was like, well, if you're trying to get me back into that, it's just not gonna work. But, then we ended up moving So once we did that, I was a lot closer to education that I could access and I started to sort of like widen my horizons with the people that I met and things that I started doing. And I ended up doing this art course at TAFE and meeting a bunch of people and realizing that like, education could be good, but I think the only way that I could ever have a good education would be if I was treated like an adult, or literally being an adult. As a kid, I wasn't the type of kid that you could talk to like a kid. I was the type of kid that was like, tell me how it is, tell me the truth. Don't sugarcoat anything because I'm gonna see right through it anyway and I'm gonna think you're trying to suck up to me

Leisa Reichelt: 36:18

That makes tons of sense.

Yani: 36:20

yeah,

Leisa Reichelt: 36:22

So you're doing art course now.

Yani: 36:24

Yeah, more than halfway through now

Leisa Reichelt: 36:30

you having trouble going to that or is that easy to attend or?

Yani: 36:34

that's always been easy. I think at the start I was a bit intimidated because it's like a bunch of adults and they treat you like an adult and that's what I kind of wanted or needed. But at the same time, I didn't know how to do that because I'd never done that before. I'd been with mum for a long time and not really even gone to a restaurant on my own or gone to the shop on my own. I didn't know like at all how to be an adult. Starting to go there with all of these adults was like, whoa, okay. Like I'm gonna have to like be really independent here. I was like, I don't know how to do that yet. But I think it took me like half a term and then I was like, oh, I know how to do this. This is okay. I figured it out.

Leisa Reichelt: 37:24

So what are you gonna do once you finish the art course?

Yani: 37:29

Mum suggested that like, I could try going to like, because they do high school at TAFE and I didn't know about that, but she was like, oh, you could do year 11 and 12 at TAFE. And I was like, oh yeah, then I could finally finish my high school education even though I never really started it. and get that over with so I can move on to more like Adult Education, getting a job, doing all of that type of thing. So, my mum found out that there was like a exemption process for how old you had to be when you went into that course. and she like sent an email to the teacher and so I got, I got accepted into doing that for next year.

Leisa Reichelt: 38:10

Yay, hooray for mum.

Yani: 38:12

Mm-hmm.

Leisa Reichelt: 38:14

That's so cool. what do you think Yani is the plan after that, have you got a bit of a vision for what you see yourself doing in the next couple of years?

Yani: 38:23

Well I have the rest of this year I'm doing the art course. After that next year I'm gonna do year 11. And because that has work related skills as a subject, I'm gonna do early education for that. And there's a work placement for that as well. So through doing year 11 and 12. You get quite a lot of work experience and from there you can move on to the workforce or doing more education if you want So my plan Is to go from doing the rest of high school education to working and whatever else I find that I wanna do.

Leisa Reichelt: 39:04

Amazing. about you, Simone?

Simone: 39:06

yeah. So, it's a new phase of life for me, really. Maybe a little overdue. I will be reentering the workforce. Financially we need to, but also for me as a middle-aged woman. to sort of, I guess, reclaim some of my, and I don't know how possible it even is to do, but I'm pretty poor, you know, I've made decisions, based on the needs of Yani for quite some time.

Leisa Reichelt: 39:34

Mm-hmm.

Simone: 39:35

I'm just starting to look for work. It's, sort of scary. and I feel a little bit behind the eight ball in terms of where I am in life and, and even in applying for jobs to sort of like explain I've been doing. I feel a bit behind the eight ball, but I'm actually really looking forward to getting back to work as well.

Leisa Reichelt: 39:55

Yeah, I can imagine. Thank you so much for sharing this story. It's been so amazing to talk to you both. I just wanna wrap up with a closing question each for you. Might start with you, Simone. If you could go back to the beginning when, Yani was in daycare, early, early days, with all of the knowledge in the experience that you have today, What would you tell yourself?

Simone: 40:22

I would say trust what you feel in your body. You know the answers. You're an awesome mum. You love your child Listen to them be guided by them and trust yourself. it's gonna be okay. it is okay. You are fine. your, child is fine. Trust your judgment You are not gonna have the same path as other people, but you'll end up in some really interesting places and it'll be worth it,

Leisa Reichelt: 40:53

That's lovely. And Yani, you've got loads of people listening now who have either got kids who are having trouble getting up and getting dressed to go to school or getting out of the car when they're at the school gate, and maybe some teachers listening who've got kids who don't wanna come into school. What is one thing that you want all of them to know? No pressure.

Yani: 41:20

I think the main thing that I would want to tell an adult around that child would be that the child isn't trying to be an inconvenience or make life harder for the adults around them. School is just not an easy thing for a kid. That kid may not do things in the same way that other kids will end up doing them. I think that is fine. Sometimes you just have to accept that and find your own way of doing it.

Leisa Reichelt: 41:50

Thank you so much for coming and sharing your story with us today. It's been lovely having the two of you on together.

Simone: 41:56

Thank you. Thanks for inviting us.

Leisa Reichelt: 41:59

There is so much to take away from Yani and Simone's story, I think but the one thing that really stands out for me is the beautiful connection between the two of them that has survived and thrived despite the challenges they've faced together over the years. I found it a really important reminder of the importance of prioritizing that parent-child connection. No matter what else the world might be telling us is so important. If you found this podcast helpful, please do take a moment to subscribe or maybe give us a rating or a review. This really does help us get the podcast in front of more people who have School Can't kids, and who haven't found the community and all the information we share. If you have some feedback for us, a suggestion for a future topic, or maybe you've been inspired to share your own lived experience story, please drop me an email to schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com. And I would love to hear from you. If you are a parent or carer in Australia and you're feeling distressed, remember you can always call the Parent Helpline in your state. A link with the number to call is in the episode notes. Thank you again for listening, and we will talk again soon. Take care.