#55 - Jodie's Lived Experience

In this week’s episode, Sydney mum, Jodie, shares her lived experience of School Can’t with host Leisa Reichelt.  Jodie’s teenage daughter experienced a sudden mental health and School Can’t crisis after a house move in February 2025, following earlier anxiety, social struggles and bullying.

As her daughter became severely dysregulated, ran away, and experienced suicidal ideation, Jodie describes intense pressure from school and clinicians to force attendance and make home “less comfortable,” which she felt escalated distress.

After months and emergency callouts, she pulled her daughter out of school and registered with international online program Crimson Global Academy (CGA) for routine and support while prioritising safety, nervous system reset, connection, travel, and a return to dance.

Over time her daughter rebuilt capacity, chose to return to in-person schooling, was offered a place at a new school, and is now happier.

Jodie urges parents and professionals to trust signals, listen deeply, and consider unconventional pathways.

Relevant resources;
- Crimson Global Academy: https://www.crimsonglobalacademy.school/au/

Transcript

Leisa Reichelt 0:05

Hello and welcome to the School Can't Experience Podcast. I'm Leisa Reichelt, and this podcast is brought to you by the School Can't Australia community. Caring for a young person who is struggling to attend school can be a stressful and isolating experience, but you are not alone. Thousands of parents across Australia and many more around the world face similar challenges and experiences every day. So today we are joined by Jodie, who is a Sydney based mum to a teenage daughter, and we're going to be hearing about their lived experience of School Can't, what they've experienced, and what they've learned, and strategies they've used to get beyond surviving and into thriving. A content warning on this one, we do discuss suicidal ideation in this episode. So if you don't have capacity for that right now feel free to skip this one or come back when you feel up to it. And a reminder to everyone, please do not hesitate to reach out for support if you or your child are in distress. There's information about resources in the episode notes. Also new in the episode notes, you can now use our Fan Mail link to send us a text message or a voicemail, maybe with feedback on the podcast, or perhaps you've got requests for future episodes. We would love to hear from you. But for now, let's get into Jodie's story. I hope you enjoy our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us today, Jodie, to share your story. Really appreciate you taking the time.

Jodie 1:26

Thank you for having me. Nice to be here.

Leisa Reichelt 1:29

I would love to start by just getting a little bit of context for you and your family. Tell us a little bit about who are you, where are you, what goes on in your life?

Jodie 1:40

Well, my name's Jodie. I live in Sydney, Australia, and, my family's kind of, between Australia and the US, but for the most part in Australia. I have a daughter who is nearly 13 we had a, very challenging year last year, which is, kind of why I am here today.

Leisa Reichelt 1:58

Excellent. Do you wanna tell us a little bit about what do you do for work? What do you do for fun in your family life?

Jodie 2:04

So I have my own business. I'm in marketing. I have a branding agency background in producing, have lived. Many lives, a very international life. Most of my adult life, I've been overseas. I was in America for 15 years. came back to Australia, I think seven years ago and, have one daughter and she's based with me here in Sydney. Her dad's in America, so we are quite unconventional. We are between here and there. He's very busy. He's in aviation. So it's a lot of travel. We are, I would call an unconventional family, but we are very proud of that. We have spent a lot of years, my daughter and all of us actually have, we spent a lot of time traveling. So we do travel a lot. At the moment she's actually back in physical school, so we have to work around holidays. But we do spend a lot of time kind of bouncing around the world. My work myself is about, really working on projects with meaning and with purpose. I was in documentary filmmaking for many years where I filmed kids growing up in refugee camps over the years. So one of my biggest passions is kids' wellbeing, which is after living through what we've lived through, for me there's more of a fire burning inside to help the kids, they really need it. I think more so than ever in today's world.

Leisa Reichelt 3:26

Let's talk about your journey with your daughter's school challenges then, shall we?

Jodie 3:34

Mm-hmm.

Leisa Reichelt 3:35

Where do you think the story starts? If you look back, knowing what you know now, where do you think the beginnings of the story are?

Jodie 3:43

The beginnings of the story are probably I was calling it a breakdown, but I don't wanna call it a breakdown. I think it was just some very strong signals that kind of came into place when we moved. We moved house almost, just over a year ago, so it was February, 2025 and we just moved five minutes away, so we didn't move far away. The week after we moved into our new place, life just went completely upside down. That's when my daughter just stopped. She was just in such a state, she couldn't get outta bed, couldn't get her to school, couldn't do anything, and she was just so, so, so dysregulated. So that was kind of like the point where the awareness was of like, whoa, like, what is going on? We've just moved Could it just be the move? So that was really, I guess, yeah, the big kind of alarm bell.

Leisa Reichelt 4:47

So there were no kind of signs before that, that anything was, you know, not quite right.

Jodie 4:53

There was a little bit of anxiety popping up here and there. She was having struggles at school. There were some definite social struggles at school that we were aware of. Didn't realize the intensity of them, but there was some, some, yeah, some signs that showed up. She had been bullied, in one friend group, excluded and just kind of like very covert behavior. And then she moved into a different friend group. And then there was girl in particular who was not great. So there were things that were popping up with her and I was kind of dealing with the school. We didn't really get very far with the school. looking back, I realized that they just didn't have the ability or the resources in place

Leisa Reichelt 5:39

She was still in primary school then.

Jodie 5:41

She was in primary school. She actually went into year six where they look at that as middle school. So they go into different classes, different teachers. That was a big shift because that's kind of like going into a high school environment.

Leisa Reichelt 5:56

Hmm.

Jodie 5:57

Going into that environment, at first she was really excited. Then I think a bit of stress and pressure started to show up. And then I think all the other things that have been lingering around for the last few years, probably two years prior to that, started to surface a little bit. So there were little bits of things popping up here or there that we were addressing.

Leisa Reichelt 6:18

And she obviously had enough coping mechanisms to manage those up to a point.

Jodie 6:24

Yeah, yeah. And I think there was a lot of masking going on, just holding everything in. And she's a big dancer. She loves her dance. So there was a couple of little things where I remember one time we came back from America and it was January, so it was the new start of her dance year. She was so excited and I'll never forget, we kind of pulled up, I think it was the first class, and she got to the door and then she turned around and ran back to the car and she said, I have the wrong leotard. It's the wrong color, it's the wrong thing. I can't go in. And she was quite panicked and anxious I thought, that's strange.'Cause usually, it's like,'see you Mum', you know,'don't come near the gate.' That was also, a bit of a, red flag. She'd been there for eight years. So, you know, that's a home for her. So there were definitely some signals popping up prior to the move, then the move was a huge explosion.

Leisa Reichelt 7:21

What did you do?

Jodie 7:22

It was a shock. It was just Like, what do we do? So, this went on for months and months and months. It just kind of progressively got worse. Initially it was like, okay, we'll just get through this. It's a little bump in the road. She's a bit shaken. She's kind of feels, she's lost her sense of security, but it just got worse. And then I went through the process with the school of school refusal. This is how we deal with it. You have to take the kid to the school they need to just, you know, that exposure therapy. And we had psychologists outside the school, psychologist inside the school, and everybody was just in my ear around, this is what you have to do when this happens, this is what you have to do.

Leisa Reichelt 8:10

So you went to the school for guidance on this and their guidance was just get her here.

Jodie 8:18

The guidance was basically the guidance from the school, from the psychologist, that deal with a lot of kids that age and this topic was she needs to be at school, whatever it takes you get her to school. At first it was a struggle to get out the door. She'd be in the bed, she's like so dysregulated, screaming, like, no, I'm not going. I can't get out. And I'm just like, What?! What is happening? And then, it just went on and on for months and it got progressively worse. And then we ended up hiring somebody to meet her who she had worked at the school and she'd also worked with us. So she met us at the school gate each morning and the idea was, let's get her to the school gate. Let's maybe she could walk around the outside of the school day one. Maybe day two, she could go inside the gate and come out. And so we're doing this and we're trying this, and internally, I'm thinking like, what are we doing to this child? What am I doing to my child? This continued for months and the pressure got worse. So I would come into the school, we'd have meetings and we've got dad in America on a Zoom. We've got the psychologist outside the school on a Zoom. We've got, six, seven people in a room. And it was just, we weren't getting anywhere and I was just getting this message of like, you are making home too comfortable. You need to be doing this. Don't make home so comfortable for her. And so as this is going on, she's getting progressively worse. She's running away.

Leisa Reichelt 9:58

And its your fault.

Jodie 10:00

And it's my fault. She's manipulating the situation. She's manipulating me.

Leisa Reichelt 10:07

That's what you are being told?

Jodie 10:09

That's what I'm being told by all the experts. She's coming home and, making me hide the knives. She's making me cut the basketball hoop off the trampoline because she's having visions of doing really bad things to herself, but at home I need to make home more difficult. So I'm just like looking at these people going what on earth are you talking about? And the school psychologist particularly, like, she would say things to her, like if you don't come to school, if you don't come in the gates, when you are older, you will never be able to walk out the door. You'll be stuck inside. You'll never be able to do anything. So you're telling a really dysregulated kid who's highly, highly anxious that that's what her future's going to be. Then you're telling me that the problem is home is way too comfortable. We're months in, and at this point I'm completely tapped out and I'm just like, what? What are you guys talking about? It's just that pressure of like you're in the system and like this is what you have to do. And the psychologist outside and she's lovely and they're all great, but they're trained in a certain way, and no one knows your kid like you do, and I'm very hands on, very tuned into my daughter. So it was really an interesting experience just to kind of have all of this noise in my head. While my child is absolutely on the darkest, the darkest road she could ever possibly be. She was running away every day. From the school gate she would bolt. So I had one girlfriend who was helping me, and that was it. Like I was the only person that could deal with that.'cause it was scary, it was dangerous. And then home too, if something triggered her, it was just like she'd run. So thankfully she didn't go too far or nothing bad happened, but it was getting dangerous. Outside of that, I'm hearing still from the school, she's gotta be at the door. This is gotta happen. She needs to be learning. I'm just like, who cares about grades? Like, what are you talking about? Its absolutely mind blowing.

Leisa Reichelt 12:22

Where you're worried about your child's survival and they're worried about her math grade.

Jodie 12:26

Yeah. And at the same time worried about her survival. But no, she's manipulating you. And I'm just like, you guys are completely, you have no idea what you're talking about. Its dangerous. And you need to stop.

Leisa Reichelt 12:40

Were they at any point looking at changes that they could make to make that environment more suitable or easier for her to be in.

Jodie 12:50

Yeah, They did. And look, this is not like, I'm not kind of anti the school or anything. As I say, everybody's trained in the way that they're trained and they know what they know. So, you know, and you're a system and you're dealing with many different families, many different situations. So I'm not coming from a place of like, hating on the school we had great earlier years there. Actually the one person who came in who was the Head of Students who was new, he was incredible. So, there were a couple of people on board at the school and they were amazing, super supportive. What can we do? How can we work with you? And it was actually one of the heads of the school who put me onto School Can't. When I was just, what do I do? Like got to the point, and I'm a very positive, optimistic person where my daughter kept saying she didn't wanna be here anymore. I mean, I remember driving one day going like, me either.

Leisa Reichelt 13:42

Yeah.

Jodie 13:42

It was so bad you know, and like for me to even think that is just, you know, is not, not normal.

Leisa Reichelt 13:50

No. No. And isn't it stunning how quickly you can go from kinda like normal into this place where life just feels incredibly hard? right? How did you get here and how will we ever get out of here?

Jodie 14:08

I was literally in a Twilight Zone and she would call Kids Helpline most nights. We had the paramedics at our place at, you know, some night. I mean, it was just, it was, it was, it was really bad. You know, that that went on for, I would say three-ish months. And it's hard, you know, when you're by yourself and you're navigating that, no one can really get it, you know, no one understands it. And I did have, thankfully had a couple of people around who were in my ear just kinda really just drilling in, like trust your gut. And also to not be afraid of her pain. I have a beautiful friend who I'm so thankful for, who he's a healer and has helped our family a lot. And then I remember him just sending a message going, don't be so afraid of her pain. Don't be afraid of those feelings that we as a society just wanna push away. So it was really helpful to have a couple of those voices in my head, because I was able to just sit with her in it rather than be afraid of it. Of course, there was some fear, but rather than be afraid of it, rather than dismiss it, it was, okay, we're in it and let's sit in it. And that went on for, yeah, a really long time.

Leisa Reichelt 15:24

Yeah, I feel like there's also a thing isn't there, where you feel like as the Mum, you have to have the answers. You have to go, well, okay, we'll do this. This is, then we'll do this and this will fix it and this will be fine. And you find yourself in a situation where you just, you have no idea. And that's really scary for you as well, isn't it?

Jodie 15:42

Yeah, absolutely. And I think it was just that, you know, and yeah, as I said, thankfully I had a couple of people and these voices in my head of really just shifting my perspective. Rather than panicking, rather than, oh my gosh, like just being okay with, her pain. And so that was a really interesting process, just personal process to be able to go through that for that many months. Very taxing, very exhausting. But needed to happen. And I do believe looking back that you know, that was part of her being able to heal,

Leisa Reichelt 16:16

Okay.

Jodie 16:16

was being able to be in that darkness rather than just run away or suppress it, which is, you know what we mostly do in society.

Leisa Reichelt 16:26

I mean it's awful that these things happen to our kids, but I do feel as though when they come out the other side, they maybe come out as like really emotionally mature people because of what they've had to deal with and the ways that they've had to learn to deal with it.

Jodie 16:43

Yeah, absolutely. Where she is today. I've never seen anybody turn around in life like I've seen my daughter I think that is because she was in it and she went through it and she processed it and whatever the causes were, I'm sure there were multiple, but she's able today sit back and reflect and talk and share, and she has a lot of insight, a lot of wisdom, and, I think it'll benefit her hugely in life.

Leisa Reichelt 17:13

And what about you? Has it changed you as well?

Jodie 17:17

You know, I kind of go through these stages in life where I'm like, I feel like I've been through a lot. This happened. I mean, this was a whole other level because your child and what's on the other end of it. You don't have a child. I knew someone who lost their 13-year-old last year, took their own life. And it's just these things do happen and they're more and more common. And even when I had the paramedics here, they were like, we see it a lot. It's just not reported. They don't report it'cause they don't want it in the news. So there's this whole world going on for these kids that most people have no idea about.

Leisa Reichelt 17:59

Sadly, I'm sure there are actually a high number of people who are listening to this, who have got personal experience of it. So there'd be a lot of heads nodding along. unfortunately.

Jodie 18:11

Yeah. I mean, it's just tragic, terrible. It's

Leisa Reichelt 18:13

Yeah,

Jodie 18:14

so sad

Leisa Reichelt 18:16

and like you say, invisible

Jodie 18:18

and invisible. And then as a parent, you're going through this trying to navigate what support is there? One of the psychologists outside of school, we were doing parenting sessions and she was doing a kid session and there's so much therapy going on. I remember them saying, homeschooling is not an option. You cannot pull her outta school. You need to push through. And I'm just thinking that point, I was like, you're all fired. See ya. Literally like school, psychologist, everyone, You're all fired. And that's what happened. I literally just got rid of them all and I pulled her out and we started process.

Leisa Reichelt 19:02

Talk me through the process. What did you do?

Jodie 19:05

Got to that point. No, everyone shut up. Like I'm not listening to any of you. I'm listening to myself and that's it. And so, I pulled her outta school. Kept a little bit of the therapy going, but it was very monitored. I would direct and give instructions on what to talk about or not to talk about. And we went head to head quite a bit, myself and the kid psychologist. So I did enroll her for homeschooling. I put her in an online program, and the Head of Students of that the online school was an absolute godsend. She was amazing, so supportive, had been through something similar. And so we didn't make her do exams. We didn't put pressure on, but there was some structure, there was some routine.

Leisa Reichelt 19:55

So was this distance education or was it homeschooling? So distance education. So it was in,

Jodie 20:01

but it is technically homeschooling. It's New South Wales. I had to still register for homeschooling

Leisa Reichelt 20:07

okay.

Jodie 20:07

yeah, I had to kind of monitor everything. I'm still in charge of her learning.

Leisa Reichelt 20:13

All right, so I just wanna be clear,'cause I know all this terminology is like difficult, right? Because I think you've got Distance Education, which is where they deliver the New South Wales education curriculum and it's done through a school

Jodie 20:26

it wasn't that.

Leisa Reichelt 20:27

no.

Jodie 20:27

So it's an online school, an international online

Leisa Reichelt 20:29

okay.

Jodie 20:30

They're not affiliated with New South Wales education.

Leisa Reichelt 20:34

Mm-hmm.

Jodie 20:34

But they do cover, for the most part that most of the curriculum that you need, but you do need to register yourself for homeschooling. So you are still technically homeschooling. I still had them come out to our place and interview us, and I'm still having to report back to New South Wales Ed.

Leisa Reichelt 20:53

Are you comfortable telling me which school it is?

Jodie 20:55

Yeah. Sure. So it's called CGA Crimson Global. So you can do one-on-one classes with them, or you can do group classes. And they I think they started out in New Zealand. And there are kids from all over the world that joined the classes. I think there were maybe 10, she had 10 kids in her class and it was from 9 to 3:30 Monday to Thursday, so it was four days a week. There were some big breaks in the day,

Leisa Reichelt 21:21

Yeah.

Jodie 21:21

but it was a great resource, just that it wasn't me having to teach her. And she still had teachers and there were other kids, so there was a little bit of interaction and she did, make friends with kids in the class. It was great. for her it was just that online learning. I think she's pretty all over the place, so I think it was a bit tricky to just sit at a computer all day.

Leisa Reichelt 21:43

Hmm.

Jodie 21:43

I'm not sure how much she learned at all last year, but it was just something, and it was routine and it was structure, which I think for her was really helpful. And as I said, the Head of Students there was absolutely, she was an angel, super supportive. I think also just for my daughter to have that extra support and some other people around rather than just, you know, it's her and I while she's in this state, was really important. So we did that for about five months. And then during that time we did a few trips, which were quite difficult. We went to America for her birthday and I mean, I could barely get her out the door And this is a kid who has traveled the world since she was three months old. She's the best traveler in the world. I mean, it was, yeah, it was, I dunno, I've got no words for it.

Leisa Reichelt 22:28

As in like really, really difficult for both of you to be able to make it happen?

Jodie 22:33

Yeah, like the night before we were going to the airport, she was just so dysregulated. The saving grace was, she has a really beautiful best friend in America, and so I would have her on the phone to her going, you can do it. You can do it. Like when you get here, I'm going to be here. And if it wasn't for her, she wouldn't have got on the plane. And then we did another trip and this was the, big turnaround. We went to Europe. I have a beautiful girl over there who comes and has helped and kind of nannied over the years. This is the decision of like, okay, this is what we're going to do. We're going to go here. She's having some time to reset her nervous system, starting to balance a little bit. I just need to get her there. That was the thing. How do I get her from here to there? And that was complicated too, because she was in the same state as when we went to America. So anyway, cut to we finally get to the South France. And then it just, happens, it begins, and I have some different people coming in at different times. That same best friend from America, we fly her over to spend time with her. We have another best friend that's happens to be in Europe. We organized for her to come at a certain time. I have this one girl that had nannied over the years to be with her every single day and step by step, we just helped rebuild her. And goal was we were there for about six weeks and we did this, so we'd continue with CGA. They're super flexible, so in these situations, like they're amazing. So we switched to one-on-one. So she was still learning, still at school, but it was just like less hours

Leisa Reichelt 24:17

Yeah.

Jodie 24:18

Just the flexibility was great. My goal was we're going to, I'm going to get her to a place where she's able to get on a plane and come home a little easier and we're going to get into the dance studio. And that was all I cared about was just get, well, not me, but like for her.

Leisa Reichelt 24:33

Just reconnect her with the passion again.

Jodie 24:36

Yeah. Because that's what she wanted. She's like, I need to get back to dance'cause I need to be in the show at the end of the year. And she's missed this whole year. So that was kind of the goal. We've had all of these little things in place and bit by bit she started to come back. And it was slow, but it was happening. And you know, little things like there's a theme park that she loves there that she always wanna go to every single day. Like she couldn't even, I mean she didn't do anything that she would usually do. But step by step, she was able to one day go, we drove past the theme park. Then the week later, she went into the theme park and she went on one ride. Then by the end of that trip, she was conquering some fears and really were, I mean, the anxiety was so debilitating and she she was in a deep, deep depression. So she just started to slowly, slowly come back. We end up coming back to Australia. She gets into dance. At that point, she was able to go in. I just had to sit in there with her. So I'd sit in there for you however many hours every week, just so she knew, and again, the psychologist at this point, we were still in touch with him and they would say, no, don't do that. You can't be in there. You can't be sitting in there because you're just feeding into her separation anxiety. I'm like, she's gone in. If I have to sit outside for 48 hours, I'm sitting outside for 48 hours, like, you don't know what you're talking about. So I did that for maybe the first month and then after that, she was okay to go in by herself. Still little bits of anxiety popping up, and little worried about this or that, but slowly, you know, she just kept getting better. And then. One day she turns around, she's back doing the online school with the classes again. And it was interesting during that period of the online school, because she did become friends with some of the girls and you know, these are 12 year olds. 11, 12 year olds. There's always drama. So there's even drama going on online, but I'm able to monitor everything. So I'm able to read through her conversations, and I'm telling her this too. Say I, I'm reading through your things because I'm going to help. I'm going to help navigate, help you navigate. I'm going to help coach you on how to deal with these situations. So it was a really great time to be able to coach her and teach her skills that she needed to know because she'd been bullied and she'd had a rough time socially that she needed that time. So it was a really, really beautiful opportunity to give her that real time coaching. It's a lot. It was like a full-time job. I pretty much had to stop working.

Leisa Reichelt 27:26

I was wondering about that.

Jodie 27:27

thankfully I worked for myself and it's quite flexible, but I, for the most part, pressed pause, like my business at that point was kind of growing, but I just had to pull it all back and she was my sole focus. Then she turned around one day and she's like, Mum, I think I'm ready to go back to school.

Leisa Reichelt 27:45

Wow.

Jodie 27:46

And I'm thinking, okay, if we can get to the end of the year and she can get to her dance concert and be on stage, oh, like wow, that will be just absolutely incredible. But when she turned around and she said, Mum, I'm ready. I wanna go back to school. I was like, really? Are you sure? She's like, yeah, Like I'm just sick of, you know, being online. And I think she was just missing that. She does have friends outside of school and I made sure she was being social and seeing other kids and she wasn't completely isolated. But that was really interesting when she kind of turned around and she's like, maybe I'll go back to my old school. And I'd put her on a wait list to this other school, which over the years, when she was younger, I thought if there was another place, I felt like this place would be a good fit for her. And she felt the same way. So she'd been on that wait list. And I did call a couple of schools when I first pulled her out and I was a little panicked and I'm like, this has happened. Do you have any space? And nothing was available. Anyway, that week that she had said, I wanna go back to school. I get an email from this other school, no word of a lie, literally within the week saying we may have a place that's opened up. Can you come in this Friday for an interview? So I'm like, okay, well there's the universe talking to me. Absolutely. And so went in that Friday. She was very bubbly and kind of back to herself. She shared part of her story and they offered her a place that afternoon. This was back in October. So we still had some months to prepare and all of that, but it just was such a quick turnaround. And the fact that she was just in a place where she chose and it was her choice and then she got accepted into this place. It was just like, wow. Like how do we go from there to here? So over those months we, you know, kind of got her prepared to go back to school and she was so excited. The next day she wanted to go to the uniform shop and buy the uniform and. I'm just like, obviously I'm thinking, God, is this going to work? Is this not going to work? But the, the fear and the stress for me at that point had gone away.'Cause I knew that if anything ever went like that again, I'd pull her out in a heartbeat. I wouldn't even think about it. Like, there's other options out there.

Leisa Reichelt 30:14

Yeah.

Jodie 30:15

I think just that knowing if I, oh, we've already done this, I would do it again in a heartbeat if I needed to.

Leisa Reichelt 30:21

Yeah, I agree. I think once you have pulled your kid out, I have a similar story. We're not in many ways it's completely different to yours, but, I got to the point where I pulled my kid outta school and started doing home education and then he decided that he wanted to go back and try school again. Now all the time with him, I'm like, are you sure you still wanna do this? Because we don't have to do this. When it gets stressful, it's like, we are doing this'cause you wanna do it. Like I don't care. We've got so many other options that are also cool options. And so I feel as though now I'm almost kind of not completely inoculated, but quite inoculated from the stress of it all. Because you've gotten out of this mindset that there's only one way through this, and if you're not on that pathway, then you're failing.

Jodie 31:01

Yeah. Yeah. And I hear that a lot. And I think one of the most annoying things I guess, that you hear from people is like, life's hard. So if it's tough at school, you just gotta push through. They're going to have to push through. That's just life. And I'm just like, that's such a small minded mindset. I'm like, it's going to make them, or it's going to break them and if it breaks them, they might really be broken.

Leisa Reichelt 31:24

And I think it's very easy if you have a kid who has fitted in quite well to the system, and yes, they have their ups and downs, but more or less, the system has worked really well for them and they've had good experiences. It's very easy for them to give advice, but as you say, like they have no idea what the reality of what these kids are going through is, it's not that they're just a little bit sad or don't feel like going to school. It's like extreme distress.

Jodie 31:52

Extreme distress. Extreme. I just happened to come across a couple of videos from last year outside the school gate A couple of videos, like as we were walking and talking and I'm just like, wow. You know, it literally felt like, a prison and that feeling of being trapped. And it's so common, right? I mean, it's why this organization's here and you're doing this podcast because it's, so common. We need to really look at like, why, what's going on? Like what's, where is the system flawed? I saw all the cracks in the system when I went through that process. And again, not to like, hate on them or anything there was some great support, but it just, it doesn't work.

Leisa Reichelt 32:39

It is, it's a fundamental misunderstanding of what's going on really, isn't it?

Jodie 32:43

Absolutely. And this whole school refusal and they need to be learning And it was only when I found School Can't, I'm like, oh, I felt this relief of that's what it is. That's what this is. And there's other people. I'm not alone. And I think with anything in life, when you feel like you are the only person going through it, it's extremely difficult.

Leisa Reichelt 33:05

Yeah, that makes a stressful situation even more stressful.

Jodie 33:08

Yeah. So yeah, she started the new school and it's not like a cruisy little school either. I mean, she's in a pretty high performing environment right now. And yeah, we've had little, you know, adjustments and transition, but she's really happy. I just couldn't imagine that that's where she would be.

Leisa Reichelt 33:29

Yeah.

Jodie 33:30

I thought for sure we would continue homeschooling for many years, which I was quite happy to do too.'cause we do travel a lot, like it fits our lifestyle, but

Leisa Reichelt 33:39

Well, Jodie, not to be the harbinger of doom, but you still have many years of schooling ahead of you. It could still go off the rails again, couldn't it?

Jodie 33:47

Yeah, sure could. But as you say, like I said to my daughter, She said the other day, I'm going to stay here till the end of school. Like, I don't know, like, it depends. It's really up to you, you know, if you are happy and you wanna be there, sure. But, we've done the other thing now, so there's always another option. So I think she knows that, I know that. It does take that stress out of everything. And yeah, I mean, there's so many things about the system that I've never agreed with. I just think, I mean, for the most part, like by the time, she's year seven, when she finishes school, most of the things they're learning, I mean, they're not going to need,

Leisa Reichelt 34:27

Yeah, Sometimes I wish my son would go back to Home Ed because I feel like he was learning much more and much more relevant and interesting things. Um, And now I see him go and learn about, I know just things, we were doing an assignment on the Industrial Revolution over the weekend, and I'm just like, oh, does he deserve, I dunno,

Jodie 34:48

Yeah my daughter was stressing about algebra and I'm like, you are never going to use algebra in your life.

Leisa Reichelt 34:53

And a lot of stuff about school is not about the learning anyway. Is it? It's about that interaction with with the teachers or with the other kids and that routine and that sense of identity and all of those kinds of things that are also important for some people in some ways as well.

Jodie 35:08

Absolutely. I had an email from one of her teachers the other day because she'd done some tests and she's been in catch up mode. She hasn't

Leisa Reichelt 35:16

Hmm.

Jodie 35:17

able to learn for, I'd say a year, and she didn't get such good grades on this test. And so the teacher just emailed to let me know and it's okay, and some support in place. And I replied, just giving her a bit of context and she responded saying, you know. I just wanted to let you know that she walks into the school and she's got such positive energy and she'll give us people compliments and she'll compliment my earrings, or she just brightens my day.

Leisa Reichelt 35:45

Hmm.

Jodie 35:45

just speaks volumes about her character, and I'm like, I'll take that any day. Over a good grade.

Leisa Reichelt 35:51

Absolutely. Absolutely. it's super cool. Well, Jodie, I know there are going to be a ton of people who are going to feel a bit jealous of you, I think. That you have kind of like quite a compact story. It was pretty extreme, right? But it went,

Jodie 36:09

Yeah.

Leisa Reichelt 36:09

it went sort of down and then back up again in a containable piece of time. I feel for folks who are listening who are just like, Ugh, I cannot see a corner being turned in my future anytime soon, and I've been here for a long time. But on the other hand, you know, it is, a great way of helping us all see that there are so many different pathways through this and there's so many different experiences of it, so many different triggers of it as well. And, you just have to deal with what you have in front of you, don't you?

Jodie 36:41

Yeah, and I think, I mean, I do believe it would've gone on longer if I was just kinda listening to what everybody was telling me, I don't think we'd be where we are today. I think a big part of it was being able to just go into that discomfort and, you know, teach her to be okay with that too, rather than dancing around it and being afraid of it. I think that was probably my biggest lesson.

Leisa Reichelt 37:09

I wonder too, whether the fact that she was impacted really kinda rapidly as well, rather than a slow decline. Because one of the things I was thinking as you were talking before is that. A question that lots of parents ask is like, how do you know when's the moment? How do you know when you've reached the point where it's like, right, that's it. I've gotta get out of this system and do something else. I think for a lot of us, it is just like, it just gets gradually, gradually, gradually and like a frog in hot water. You know, you just, you learn to just tolerate more and more and more of like, pressure from the school and distress in your child and like, where's the point? Maybe, maybe a more rapid decline helps because you spend less time in, in the soup of distress.

Jodie 37:56

That explosion of everything it was super scary. I mean, I feel like I nearly lost my kid. I feel like she would've possibly not been here. But I think that such an extreme rapid evolving of all of that did help because it was just there. There's no, oh, maybe there's maybe that, but I think, yeah, my message would be if there's any kind of feeling of any of it. Like act. Act as soon as possible. I wish I'd have done it sooner.

Leisa Reichelt 38:28

I don't think I've ever heard anybody say, I think I pulled the trigger too soon. I think I probably should have left them in for longer. Like you just don't hear people say that, do you?

Jodie 38:35

No, no, no. So I think it's, like, listen to your gut. What does your gut say? What is your kid saying? What signals are you getting? And act.

Leisa Reichelt 38:46

I would love if you would just think about, all the folk who are listening, who are, still very much on this journey. There might be some educators listening, some therapists listening, professional people who support kids. What would be your messages to them?

Jodie 39:04

My message would be, I think for the educators and the therapists to really listen to the parents and the kids, open your mind and perspective a little bit is really helpful. Rather than, just having that, this is what I know, this is what I've been taught, this is what I've been told. Think outside the box. And I think for parents it's. Listen to yourself, and if something doesn't feel right, it's not right. And also get rid of the voices or the opinions or the advice that aren't helping you in your situation. And just listen to the things that are helpful and that will help you fast track to get to where you need to be And also you're not alone. Like there are people everywhere that are going through this, and these are kids and the behavior is a signal to something that's going on deeper and go deep. Don't be afraid to go deep because that's how you'll get through it.

Leisa Reichelt 40:17

The other takeaway I have from talking to you as well, Jodie, is don't be afraid of living a bit of an unconventional life. You do what you need to do.

Jodie 40:25

Don't be afraid at all. I think it'll become more and more the norm, I think it's, people are realizing that, you know. The system is backwards for the most part, and that's okay, but understand what it is. It's the system and I mean, I never wanna be conventional, so I'm very happy to be unconventional. But yeah, don't be afraid of it and don't feel like there's something wrong with you because all those other people will catch up one day. I guarantee. When I went to that first CGA meeting, I'm like, this is the future of schooling. So you're probably just ahead of the game really.

Leisa Reichelt 41:04

Amazing. Well, that feels like a great point to leave things on. Thank you so much, Jodie, for your time today and for sharing your story. I really appreciate it.

Jodie 41:11

Yeah, thank you for being here and doing what you do. It's just so important and so needed, so

Leisa Reichelt 41:19

Thank you.

Jodie 41:19

you.

Leisa Reichelt 41:20

Well, I would like to reiterate my thanks to Jodie and to all of the amazing School Can't parents who come and share their stories of the hardest times in their lives with us on this podcast. It is a hugely generous act, and I know it is so helpful for us all to hear this constellation of stories that make up our community. I'm so glad that Jodie's daughter was able to find her way back after such a dark time, and Jodie shared with me that her daughter is now actively sharing what she's learned from her experience with her peers at school. So that's fantastic. If you have found this podcast helpful, we would be so grateful if you could take a moment to subscribe or give us a rating or review in your podcast software. This really does help us get the podcast in front of more people who have School Can't kids, and who haven't yet found the School Can't community and all the information that we share. If you have some feedback for us, or a suggestion for a future topic or a guest, or maybe you've been inspired to share your own lived experience story, you can use our new Fan Mail link in the episode notes to drop us a text or a voicemail, or drop me an email to schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you. If you're a parent or carer in Australia and you're feeling distressed, please remember you can always call the Parent Helpline in your state or call Lifeline on 13 11 14. Please do not hesitate to reach out for extra support. Thank you again for listening. We'll talk again soon. Take care.